Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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