The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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