So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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