I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
either way he was missing a nipple.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
