I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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