I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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