I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
