So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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