You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
