Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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