my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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