the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
