even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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