Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
