You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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