Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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