he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
