All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
