I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
