my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
