whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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