I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
