She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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