i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
