where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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