I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
