She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
