If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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