Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
