so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
