Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
