Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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