I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i dont even know how to be here
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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