If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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