No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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