Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
