Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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