I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
