3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
