Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
