i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize