Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
