Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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