'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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