My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
