You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
