You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We are two peas in an std pod
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I pour the whiskey from now on
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize