At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
