Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
God I need to hump something, right now.
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