His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize