I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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