Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
