I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
