I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
