I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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