I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
