she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
