the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
