She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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