you guys were way drunker than both of me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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