Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
