i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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