Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
