You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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