Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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