Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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