its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
