By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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