4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
