What did we do last night that was yellow?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
