just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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