He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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