the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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