Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
