i don't like sucking hair
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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