I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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