even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
