what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
