No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
