Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
