like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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