His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
