I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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